Hey, ummm
k i kinda need some advice, wrote the start of a story awhile ago, keep trying to go back to it but lose intrest.

Could you please read it [below] and just leave a comment if yah think it good or just to leave it and start over :/
To be honest i kinda need the comments to give me a bit of a boost
thanks alot peeps
peace and adios
[Dave]

Story : Beach

Prolouge:

The beach was a doorway to dreams, thoughts and memories. His thought’s always seemed to flourish, as he stared at the sea and sky, they always seemed as one, there was never a horizon. Even as the sun would set, the sun would spill into the waves forming great visions of ecstasy. Feeling the sand between his bare toes, and the soft heat multiplied by the even softer breeze, he held the letter close to his chest. The letter itself was worn, the folding where indented and where starting to rip. As he looked into this sky of orange and blue, he began to cry. He wiped the tears away, but had to wipe his face a few more times afterwards, expelling the grains of sand. Resting besides him was a bottle of red wine. The label had all but gone, worn away by the years. A Glass stood, if slightly at an angle but stood none the less. It was half full, not a single drop had been sipped.
“Ally couldn’t make it today, she’s not been feeling so well for a few days now, wasn’t sure if she was saying it to get out of school” he paused still looking into the sky.
“But she wouldn’t have missed this”. Another tear slowly rolled down his cheek and once more, he rubbed his face, several times.
“She told me to say that she is sorry and that she loves you”. He gave a slight laugh, “but you know that right? Looking over her, well us both”. There where a few tears rolling down his face, but he didn’t bother with them. He let them fade away like the orange sky, slowly going darker, fading into the background.

He picked up the wine bottle as he stood, and placed the letter, once more folded up into his back pocket. “She has a boyfriend now, he’s called nick. You know what I’m like, no one will be good enough for her, but I can tell you would have liked him”.

He walked away from his own designated area, and walked towards the car leaving the tilted wine glass. The wind was picking up, and the sand started to dance with it. The orange sky had turned to a dark blue, there where only a few stars, but the moon was full and bright. The waves, slowly but surly making its way towards the glass, determined to take it, each current that came in, was like a lunge as if it had much desire for the wine Like a craving for something it has long since had, yet still remembered the taste. Grabbing it’s past.


As he drove home in the soft night with the music playing, it was a pleasant and slow song. Broadening his thoughts he smiled. The music was moving him gracefully to memories of Caitlin and himself. The memories weren’t stable, they where sort of blurry images, like a dying echo in the distance of a word once clear when first spoken, but they where memories and that was all that mattered to him.
It happened so suddenly and unexpected. He always wished he could have just seen her once more and told her how much he loved her.

The wind started to pick up and a chill made him focus once more on the drive home.
It was getting late and Ally was alone in the house. Chris had always worried for Ally, raising her on his own gave him a right to do so. But he would always make the little things bigger than they would need to be.

Ally was lying on the bed, dressed in her nightly and under the covers, she was sitting up straight but was holding the cover tight and high, everything from below the neck was covered by the white sheet. The tall silver lamp stood at the left of her bed. This and the glow from the Television lit the room softly. Her face was lit as well, as the small sprinklings of sweet lay on her forehead. And the light seemed to make her cheeks bright red.
“Hurry up!” she shouted with a hint of glee.
“It’s getting to the best part!” She shouted once more, with her eyes fixed to the television.
“Ok, ok I’m comin”
The voice came from the hallway, her bedroom door opened, filling her room with light.
There was Nick holding a dish of chicken soup, and a cup of tea. Closing the door with his foot and then walked past the television, momentary blocking Ally’s view. He placed the dish and cup on the bedside table to her right and sat on the chair next to it.
Forcing herself from the television she turned and grabbed the dish
“Hey, where’s the spoon?” She said turning to Nick.
An irruption of laughter rose from her sore chest as Nick turned to her.
“How long has that been there?” she asked still laughing.
He lifted the spoon from the tip of his nose.
“I was balancing it for ages; I had it on when I walked into the room”
In a playful manner she spoke.
“I’m not eating the soup with that now!” Giving a cheeky smile.
“Oh hell yeh you are!” returning the playful manner.
“I slaved for hours…Hours woman to make that soup!”
“What to boil water in a pan and poor the stuff into it?”
Once more they laughed, but it was soon interrupted by the sound of the front door opening.
“Hey, I’m back” Chris shouted as he started to climb the stairs.
Once more the room filled with light as the door opened.
“Hey dad”
He moved to the left side of the bed and kissed her on the cheek.
Nick and Chris gave each other that half assed smile and a nod
“Soup eh, glad to see your eating something”
“Ally told me that you hadn’t eaten anything, so I made enough for you, its on a low heat so it’ll still be hot”
Once more Chris nodded and gave a half assed smile.
“Thanks”
As he moved towards the hallway, the television caught his eye and made him smile.
“This again?” he said to Ally
“It’s a classic, and besides, your only yourself to blame” the authority of the line made both Chris and Nick look at each other, as if she was telling him off.
“You’re the one that got me into this film”.

Moments had gone by, Chris had settled down on the sofa, placing both the bottle and note on the coffee table in front of him. There was laughter from upstairs, the joke obviously amused Ally and though Chris clearly never heard it, it still gave room for a small smile to form upon his face, just knowing she was happy in return made him so.
Stretching his arms up and placing them behind he head, he leaned on the back of the sofa, sighing as he did so. Closing his eyes he exhaled. This was the day he hated to see on the calendar. A constant reminder of what he lost. She wasn’t just his wife and the mother of his child. She was his first and only lover and a childhood friend before that.